Pretty shoes, painful feet

This has always been a problem for me. New shoes. I try not to think about my deformed toe that sticks out in a weird look at me sort of way but when it comes time for new shoes there's no denying or ignoring the baby toe on the side screaming at me "you might squeeze me into that shoe but i'm going to make you hurt the whole time!!! And when you're finally comfortable in your pretty new shoes, it'll be too late, I'll have worn my way right through the side and you can start all over." I hate that toe. So obviously I'm wearing new heels today. When I tried them on at the store they were fine, this morning I proudly slip the shiny toe killers on and "ouch!" they come right back off. I check the inside to make sure that it was my toe that hurt me and not a scorpian pinching me.... *sigh* it was the toe. Well i'm going to wear them anyway. They are pretty and new and i already threw away all my old shoes. I put them back on and hobble around the apartment a few times. I try to imagine i'm a runway model and I try to stride out stomping as I go, on the first step I yelled God help me!!! Time for a different tactic... baby steps. I baby step it for a few circles trying to balance mainly on the inner part of my foot, time for my big toe to pull it's weight. I've been told vaseline will help break in new shoes that are too tight so I glob some on in the "death to your baby toe" area and some more on the "i'll scrape your ankle raw" area... and i'm good to go... I think. It's a little slippy inside those pretty shoes now, but i'm out of time!!! I have to go to work!

Next obsticle: I go outside and my car is about 12 steps away from me but it is surrounded by ice. Black ice, white snow on top of black ice... *deep breath* I can do this, I have to do this. I get my balance on my big toes again and before I take each step I rub the ground with my foot in a circle to test the slippyness of it, I make it half way and I stop, time to think this through... the passenger door is closest to me, there is no reason why I shouldn't just crawl through that side!! It's right next to my driver seat!!! Brilliant!! I feel very smart at this point. I make it to the door and crank it open, crawl in on all fours and do a roll and tuck to end up right behind my steering wheel!! I feel like a charlie's angel, only one problem, my 4 inch heel is tangled in my purse and lunch bag and my right leg is securely fastened to the seat beside me. I really really really hope no one is watching. It's always at the point where you feel so pretty cause you took time to fix your hair, put on a new sweater and break in those beautiful, painful new heels, right when you feel tall and better than everyone else in the world that the roll and tuck knocks you right back down where you belong. I straighten up, look both ways and slowly back my way out and drive far far away from anyone who might be looking out there windows.

I have 2 last things I feel like I need to bring up today. I got to work early. There was a parking space right in front of my building!! That never happens... so I take it. There's no one's name on it, there isn't a handicapped sign, although with these heels people would have believed I was disabled, so i park and go in to my desk. I feel really guilty and just a bit scared that I shouldn't have parked there and within 5 minutes a voice comes over the speaker " will the owner of a Blue (the color of my car) , *long pause* *holding my breath eyes wide, heart pounding* ... ford escape licence plate number ------ please move your vehicle" I felt like a criminal until i heard ford escape and not dodge neon.
The second question I have is for my sister... how long have these cans of soda been sitting here and can it go flat still in a can?? I swear this sprite that i took my medicine with tasted a bit fizzless.

First Post, Tuesday afternoon- dead

One boss gone all week, my other boss left about 2 hours ago for the day. I guess i'll make a list of necessary items to keep at my desk.... Midol, Advil, Pepto... the chewable kind. Pepto liquid makes me gag. It tricks you because it's such a pretty color. What could be bad about something pink? Little girls in pink dresses, pink bows, pink piglets, rosy cheeks (which are in fact pink cheeks) all cute things... so for your first experience with pepto you take a sniff... "whoa!!" What the heck?! If you're brave enough to ignore your sense of smell then you deserve what you get after that!!! It coats your tongue,teeth,roof of your mouth and your throat! You have no chance!! Pink is no longer cute or precious or endearing. It's just Pepto! The chewable tabs however, if you can manage to not get it stuck in your teeth for very long goes down much smoother. Ok... what else... I like Taffy... maybe some Laffy Taffy at my desk would be good.. I have to make sure I eat it when no one is around to pop in and ask a question, good luck pulling your teeth apart to answer, plus has anyone noticed how much you drool once you start to really chew on it? Oh and God forbid you swallow too soon and part of it goes down your throat while the rest is attached to a tooth, that just becomes a nasty mess!! Hmmmm ok no laffy taffy at work then...

In a couple hours I get to go home and walk to my door like a little old lady who because she is missing all her toes has no balance. It's been 2 days now and my apartment hasn't salted my walkway yet. It's solid ice. Now... I don't fall usually but I work very hard at it, the ice literally, with no dramatics about it, strikes fear into my heart to walk on it. If I were to imagine what my eyes look like while I inch my way across my concussion waiting to happen, I believe it would look something like a mad cow that is very very very focused on eating all the grass before any other normal cow could get to it. Ugh, my forehead creases are hurting just trying to explain it! Now add the terror of a 56 lb puppy who has been crossing her legs needing to go outside so badly that she doesn't care if you are on your feet or your stomach, you're coming with her!
I'm ready for spring, except for the large bugs... but that's a blog for the spring.

I ate some chocolate covered peanuts today. I wish that I hadn't. That's what really started the entire thought about Pepto. I don't know why I ate them really... I ate one and it wasn't very good, and then before I knew it there were only 4 left... well I couldn't leave 4 in the bag just to make me sick another day so I powered through until there was only 1 left and it fell on the floor... here's the good part, I was sick to my stomach but still felt bad about throwing away that last one. That last disgusting poopy colored nut! Seriously? If there is anyone out there that might be experiencing this same problem I really think it's time for a support group and for snacks.... no chocolate covered peanuts! Or pepto.